<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>A Million Things to Say by Nevski</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30069888">A Million Things to Say</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nevski/pseuds/Nevski'>Nevski</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Feels, Everyone Has Issues, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:36:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,445</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30069888</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nevski/pseuds/Nevski</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Valkyrie is the sovereign leader of New Asgard and Carol just needs a place - or someone - to crash on.</p><p>Or somewhat half-assed rendering of the space girlfriends set in after the Infinity War. There might be some AU elements besides the obvious fact that well, Valcarol.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Brunnhilde | Valkyrie/Carol Danvers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. And Felt You Flying</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have written this shit since the last September. I think it is time to let it loose. The headlines are references to a song by Ermal Meta called <i>Un milione di cose da dirti</i>.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Valkyrie sighed. She had found herself going through the freshly written summary of the Asgardian journey published by some English newspaper on her phone, and it did not serve Thor very well. Not surprising, as one might say. This new fully global and centralized form of distributing bullshit was still something she still had not used to. Asgardians were not all exactly the most well behaving folk, but they did have a sense of respect whether it just meant not handing pamphlets of how fucked up their superiors had once again acted.</p><p>She closed the news app and sighed once more.</p><p>She <i>did</i> like the new responsibilities she had taken on herself, but it would have been nice to have someone to share the burden. Even for a couple days a week.</p><p>The Heimdall’s was almost empty on a weekday. It was not so cleverly named after the one-eyed guardian who they had lost when the Statesman was under attack. The place did serve good Asgardian booze, though.</p><p>Maybe it was mainly thanks to ever-growing demand from Thor’s part, but the people had started to make beer like they had made in the old home as soon they were settled in enough. The thought made Valkyrie smirk. There were things like learning to fish and building new homes according to Norwegian regulations where Asgardians <i>did</i> comply - and then there were territories where Asgardians did not follow the rules of their new European home, like brewing better shit than that sold in regular stores and bars.</p><p>She idly listened to music jitter in the background. It was an unknown artist to her, as most of them were, but it had a nice groove just before the second verse. Even now she had no real interest in Earth's music and films and such. She had just enough to familiarize herself with the common human history and fitting the Asgardian self-government into the 21st-century Norwegian realm.</p><p>“Fill me up”, she murmured to the barkeep.</p><p>A bold weightlifter behind the counter was not so sure was it a best idea to let their current almost-sovereign leader to get drunk on a normal Tuesday afternoon. But he also knew from experience that letting someone else to judge when it was time to Valkyrie ease up on her drinking was never a good thought, either.</p><p>The thought was formed <i>before</i> all this Earth <i>shit</i>, but it was not easy to brush off.</p><p>“Thanks”, Valkyrie said without lifting her tired gaze from her drink.</p><p>When was the last time that she had pushed any responsibility to anyone else? The harder she tried to think, the more convinced she was that she had not had that luxury since the Old Asgard.</p><p>
  <i>Fuck, it’s been three fucking years.</i>
</p><p>“Hey, watch it, I heard you were doing role modeling these days?”</p><p>She almost dropped her beer. Turning towards the door she was more than ready to throw some verbal pun back in but was taken by surprise.</p><p>“You?”</p><p>It was a face familiar to Valkyrie, but she had not seen the visitor for over three years. Not after Valkyrie had visited New York with Tor and they had found out the meaning of Nick Fury’s transmitter pager, before the death of the Mad Titan.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s been a while, don’t you think? I thought I would give a look at this New Asgard everyone’s buzzing about before heading to the compound.”</p><p>Maybe it was about that fifth pint, but Captain Marvel was even more breathtaking than Valkyrie remembered. They had not ever been very deeply bonded and had absolutely no reason either the opportunity to do so, so it was a rare treat to see Carol in a more casual environment. Now when giving a thought to it, Valkyrie had never thought Carol even would walk to a bar. Why would she? Wasn’t Carol all about business? Fighting in space and on distant planets in even more distant galaxies.</p><p>Valkyrie did not even know if Carol needed to sleep.</p><p>“Thor is not… feeling quite up for it. So, I’m in charge.”</p><p>She could hear the bodybuilder give her a scoff behind the beer taps.</p><p>“For now.”</p><p>This seemed to be news to the blonde, but she did not look very shocked. Was it because other beings still had their organic day-to-day problems when she had to think of the bigger stuff? Carol sat on a stool next to the Asgardian and looked abruptly at a messy drink list on the counter. She dropped a duffel bag she had with her on the empty seat next to her.</p><p>“I could have a use for a break. It’s been some shit storm out there.”</p><p>Valkyrie sipped her beer slowly and tried to think what to make all of it. The blonde ordered the same as her.</p><p>“It can be quite strong- Ah, I guess you can take it”, Valkyrie scoffed, mainly to herself.</p><p>Carol brushed lightly her hair back from her temples and smiled quite frailly.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s okay. People often seem to forget that I’m both. A human and a protector of the realms - or whatever. I do need a day off, as much as the regular Joe.”</p><p>“How often do you think regular Joes take day-offs?”</p><p>Carol shrugged. “Like, twice a decade?”</p><p>Valkyrie snorted. Yeah, that sounded more and more the way she was operating. Three years and she had, what? After seeing Carol and other Avengers left alive after the Blip in New York, had Valkyrie taken a trip or two into Oslo and Brussels? Which neither were in the height of their glory after the Snap. She had asked for a hotel room with a bathtub, nothing more special even though she was held as some kind of emblem of hope as all the Asgardians.</p><p>Was it a day off to get to lie in warm water for a few hours between shaking hands and sleeping?</p><p>The song changed. Valkyrie noticed Carol’s smile to turn to a warmer one. She seemed to be reminiscing about something.</p><p>They were not so different, were they? Both were given a responsibility that they had not actually sought out, but once they had it, they both had tried to make the most of it. Tried to make themselves equal to the new challenges.</p><p>Carol just seemed to have pulled it out much better. Her blonde hair flowed on her shoulders as a golden stream. Her frame was much more muscular than Valkyrie had remembered. And even in quite normal greyish jeans and a plain white t-shirt under her black leather jacket, she seemed like she was ready to bounce off the globe any given second.</p><p>“What did you say had been three years ago?” Carol interrupted Valkyrie's silence. “Not to complain, but you have some wondering eyes.”</p><p>Valkyrie did something she did not think she was even capable of. She blushed. Sure, she buried her expression to sipping some more beer. But it was like in some odd memory drafted from her teenage years what had taken place well over millennia ago. Those were pretty boozed-up years, thanks to laid-back Asgardian guardianship, and over-human physical development.</p><p>Like she was being teased by another draftee at a party reserved for the Valkyries. Like by someone who she had a genuine interest in.</p><p>“I meant- I haven’t had much free time.”</p><p>Carol laughed. “I get it. Just teasing. You know, it’s great to sit somewhere without seeming off-worldly.”</p><p>Valkyrie could not but to join her laughing. “Yeah, you know, it’s as great to sit with someone not expecting me to ban something or govern something or anything like that.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>* * *</p>
</div>It was not like Valkyrie to not drink someone under the table. She had had her festive breaks earlier, before all these Earthly responsibilities. With some of her closest friends in the corps, they would’ve drink for weeks after drawing even the littlest battle blood. And when she was based on Sakaar, she had done little else than soaked her nightmares with anything liquid available.<p>It had been over three years since she had drunk this much in one sitting, though. And apparently it had taken its toll.</p><p>Instead of The Heimdall’s tap being bolted or her kicking the bar keep’s teeth in to get just one more refill, she did not even manage to sit on her stool when coming back from the toilet.</p><p>Carol burst into soppy laughter and stood up to offer the town’s governor a hand.</p><p>“I think I should get some sleep.”</p><p>“I think you should, too.”</p><p>Carol lifted Valkyrie’s wobbly stature up on her feet like it was nothing. The blonde did not notice a gasp full of awe that escaped between the other’s lips as she tried to direct Valkyrie’s steps towards the door.</p><p>“Did he dim the lights?”</p><p>“No, you’re just drunk”, Carol responded patiently. “Now come on, which way?”</p><p>“Are you coming too?” the brunette sounded surprised. “I didn’t think you played with those rules?”</p><p>Carol stopped briefly to see if the civilizational adaptation necessary for hired drivers was wound its way to the town yet. Sure, there was a car or two along the road, but none had any placate on.</p><p>“I’m not trying to hook-up with you, I’m trying to get you sleeping somewhere else than here. I’m guessing there’s no taxis around, huh?”</p><p>“It- I live down that road to the- to the left.”</p><p>Carol frowned. “Yeah, and then?”</p><p>“Three miles further and-”</p><p>“Oh, the fuck with it.”</p><p>Valkyrie felt distantly as Carol’s other arm wrapped around her legs, just under her bum. She noticed as through a dream as Carol lifted her effortlessly against her chest. Valkyrie understood to be curled up on her arms just as they suddenly took up into air.</p><p>It was like she was sobered up at least to half what she was just minutes ago.</p><p>“Odin’s shrunken left ball! The fuck are you doing?”</p><p>“I’m not walking your stone drunk ass for three fucking miles.”</p><p>Valkyrie understood that squirming would probably end up badly as they rose higher. How long was it back on the street? Fifty feet? Uh-no. She did not think Asgardian bones were thick enough to take it. And Carol just kept rising.</p><p>“Are you even allowed to fly so drunk?”</p><p>“Just show me where to go, please.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>* * *</p>
</div>The illusion of sobering up did not last all the way to Valkyrie’s apartment, but once she relaxed a bit, the journey did seem to end too soon.<p>She had to admit to herself that the cold breeze against her face and the feeling of gliding through air were something else. And Carol seemed more than capable enough to carry her safely.</p><p>Valkyrie felt Carol’s warm, but calm breath falling on her temples. The hand squeezing her thigh to prevent her from falling seemed rock solid. Valkyrie could not but to wonder what it would be like to be raised by that godly being on the kitchen counter… or against a wall… Because who was she kidding, her own Asgardian powers seemed laughable compared to the human. Oh fuck, she probably even could not squirm out of Carol’s grip if she wanted to.</p><p>That was a bit too hot to think while being carried like she had been a much more fragile built woman. Valkyrie hoped it was dark enough Carol to not notice the red rising on to her wide cheeks.</p><p>“Ummh, there-”</p><p>Carol glided through crispy air with an amazing grace when one thinks how many beers she had destroyed back in the bar. It did not take her long to get back to the solid ground.</p><p>“It is… Not what I expected”, Carol frowned.</p><p>Valkyrie smirked. Her house was in a remote location, but she had always thought it was worth it. The couple of miles trip from the town center was just enough for her to get her thoughts sorted in the morning if she had time to take a run while getting to work. Although not too often she did have the luxury of doing so.</p><p>The house was a two-story wooden building from 1880’s built in Empire style. Not as fancy as ones down at Oslo or Bergen, but it was quite a sight against the nearest fjord from the city. The fjord itself was not as huge as those in the travel agencies’ photographs, but it did kind of remind Valkyrie of the old home.</p><p>In the dark the yellowish paint looked almost mustard-colored. The tall narrow windows watched upon them, dim as Thanos’ asshole.</p><p>“Yeah, you should see the interior.”</p><p>“I’m ought to, given that you cannot seem to find your keys, not to mention your bed instead of a bottle.”</p><p>Valkyrie shrugged. “You caught me - which reminds me, could you put me down now? Not to say I don’t like being hold up like this, but -”</p><p>Carol seemed a bit flustered as she suddenly lowered the Asgardian. She went on to check Valkyrie’s jacket for keys. “You have no idea, where your keys are, do you?”</p><p>“I didn’t say I keep the doors locked.”</p><p>Carol punched her shoulder, but it was more to cool down herself than from actual frustration. Yeah, sure, the Asgardians were now Norwegian in a sense; and apparently filled with the Scandinavian small-town trust. They did not keep doors locked in the small bedroom communities of Kern County or near the City of New Orleans either, did they now?</p><p>She went on to push the door open, but when she looked back it was clear Valkyrie was not going to walk straight by herself.</p><p>“Oh, c’mon now”, Carol huffed.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>* * *</p>
</div>It did take some encouragement to put Valkyrie to sleep.<p>Her bedroom was on the first floor, as there was not much use of so many rooms by herself. Still, she did somewhat try to resist the operation.</p><p>Luckily, the dizziness took better of her.</p><p>Carol did leave the bedroom door slightly open before backing to the living room. It was a spacious room with old wooden floor paneling and no curtains. There was only a wonky-looking table with laptop and old TV on it, and a scruffy L-shaped couch which Carol could bet was stained. She dropped her duffel bag on the floor before trying to find herself even half-decent bedding.</p><p>She looked for some blankets and threw them on the couch before throwing herself on the top of it. Looking at the ceiling and some odd spiderwebs she could not but wonder what exactly she was doing.</p><p>Had she really had any reason to come to New Asgard? Not that it was any trouble for her to travel on Earth, distances were small compared to what she was used to in space. She had been honest that it was nice to hang back at somewhere where no one seemed to know her or to make a scene of her staying.</p><p>Valkyrie had been a pleasant company. And sure, she seemed to need to take some kick back too.</p><p>Carol thought of the trip back at Valkyrie’s. Was it necessary to her to stay? The Asgardian was a big girl and probably had had her share of hangovers. But god, did Carol sometimes just wanted to have normal problems. Like how to fix a headache and what pizza to order.</p><p>Or how to get a cute someone taking her back at their place.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. To Understand Each Other a Little More</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Uhh, enjoy, I guess?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a throbbing, nauseated feeling to wake up to something bright and invasive. Valkyrie moved her head to her left just to find out what she probably had known before waking up properly; the curtains were open.</p>
<p>She grunted forcefully. Slowly, it felt, she threw her blanket aside, and tried to stand next to her bed. She tried hard. It was the thing Valkyrie was putting most of her inner essence into. And it was a wobbly stand she took.</p>
<p>
  <i>Whatever, I’m gonna shut that motherfucker up for good.</i>
</p>
<p>Sure, it made no sense to try to shut the sun herself out, but she thought she had made a fucking good effort when she had pulled the curtains shut. She stood by the window a while too, rickety as if she just had fought against all hell on her own.</p>
<p>As the room turned gloomy it felt almost bearable again. The throbbing in her forehead had not gone away, though.</p>
<p>
  <i>Oh fuck. I’m.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Hangover.</i>
</p>
<p>Normally, it took a lot more. Maybe the three years on this fucking pissing pot had done it for her. Or maybe even she was not immune to over 12 pints of Asgardian ale. She stumbled to the living room, only to find out that some peasant had camped on her fucking couch.</p>
<p>“I’m going to end you”, she mumbled while slowly noticing that she had an insurmountable need to pee.</p>
<p>She stumbled to the first-floor bathroom and left the door open. What was the point not to? Her house did not come with close neighbors and there was no need to turn the annoyingly bright ceiling light on while there was some natural light pushing through the living room windows.</p>
<p>Forcefully she pulled her boxer shorts down her parted legs and turned to sit.</p>
<p>
  <i>Oh mother of gods. Don’t go sleeping before relieving yourself, you motherfucking Allfather’s tit-sucking -</i>
</p>
<p>She was awakened once again by an odd smell of something burning. Hardly washing her hands, she ran with her best current effort towards the smell. The kitchen was as illuminated as it had ever been. No curtains drawn.</p>
<p>“Oh -”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I heard. Quite enough of tit-suckers already.”</p>
<p>She was stunned and almost tripped by the sight - later she would blame the brightness, it was too much to anyone who had experienced the state of being hungover like death had had its grip on your inner organs, twice.</p>
<p>“Carol.”</p>
<p>The in her 30-ish looking human smiled at her. That was emotionally too dazzling even if everything else would not have been physically so. A smell was oozing from baked bacon rolls, eggs, and a fresh salad that Carol was cutting. Meat grizzled on the stove while she razed some cheese on top of the eggs.</p>
<p>“Yes. Do you want ketchup on your eggs?”</p>
<p>“What? Is that an American thing?”</p>
<p>Valkyrie dragged her ass to the counter but instantly backed out a little to reach the fridge. She needed a beer.</p>
<p>“Did you go to a store?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, they did not check my flying permit this time either”, Carol shrugged. “You want the ketchup or not?”</p>
<p>Valkyrie rested the ice-cold beer on her temple. She was certain that she had not bought Budweiser as she thought all American beers tasted like piss, but apparently Carol had filled her fridge. Frowning, she nodded.</p>
<p>“Didn’t you have a meeting or something?”</p>
<p>Carol shrugged. She seemed like she did not want to talk about it, so Valkyrie let it slide for now. It was not like it was her problem, anyways.</p>
<p>“I find it odd that people call you just the Valkyrie”, Carol said totally out of the blue, but her tone was straight down casual.</p>
<p>“I’m what’s left of it.”</p>
<p>“You are more than your corps.”</p>
<p>“Is this really what you think I want to reminisce when it feels like I have the Mjölnir pounding in my head?” Valkyrie knitted her brows.</p>
<p>Carol shrugged again. “I’m sorry, I do get somewhat feisty after drinking. And it was a lot yesterday compared to what I’m used to.”</p>
<p>Valkyrie guessed that it was not really her guest’s scene to be emptying pints at a pub. She had thought that before, but now it seemed obvious to her. When would’ve Carol had time? After gaining her powers she had not had time to live her life as a regular Joe, as she had put it before. Though Valkyrie could not see any hint of aftereffects on her.</p>
<p>Carol turned off the stove and piled a good amount of food on two plates. Apparently, she could kill at least as big servings as Valkyrie.</p>
<p>She sat next to her host and started munching on her sausages, dipping them into ketchup and mayonnaise which neither Valkyrie did remember owning.</p>
<p>“What’s that you were saying about Thor yesterday?” Carol finally cut the silence.</p>
<p>Valkyrie was aware that Thor and Carol both were somehow involved with Thanos’ death, but she had not heard the exact details. It all seemed like an absurd tale to her, them going to space with other superheroes and slaying him. After three years there was a lot of speculation of the circumstances and Valkyrie had ended up being suspecting on every little thing she had gathered from the news. At least Thor had broken down after it, that she knew for a fact.</p>
<p>Valkyrie took a long breath and sipped her beer.</p>
<p>“It was not easy for him to realize we are not gods anymore in the sense we were”, she started. “We all lost something. Many of our friends among our people. Our sense of making a difference. He lost his self-respect and his brother.”</p>
<p>“So, you took over?”</p>
<p>Apparently, Carol was not one to cushion her words.</p>
<p>“What else could I do?” Valkyrie’s eyes lit up and she sounded a bit irritated. “It’s not like Odin is with us anymore. And even if we haven’t lost Loki, he was never the person to adapt to this kind of place.”</p>
<p>She motioned vaguely around her. “This is not a scene for the god of mischief. Too quiet, too remote, too unimportant.”</p>
<p>Carol did not say anything. She focused back on her food, but the effort seemed forced and her eating mechanical. Val concentrated on her beer to keep her hands occupied. She had no real reason to burst out to Carol, as the woman was just trying to understand. But all those things were wounds Val had not had time to cure. She had buried herself to her duties to keep herself contained; she had pushed all her unresolved anger aside maybe for the first time in her life by trying to make things better.</p>
<p>At least it was the case for the first time since fighting Hela with her corps - and that was all another shit show she had no intention to reminisce about, as she had hinted to Carol.</p>
<p>It was not like on Sakaar where she had turned all her painful memories off with booze. On Sakaar things were easy to forget with all the violent entertainment and other shallow pleasures.</p>
<p>This time she had done her best for her people and community, but in the end, it felt like it still was not enough. She loathed herself for not to be able to make a different outcome on the Statesmen. She <i>had</i> to flee off-board with other Asgardians, to protect them, but she could not but ruminate whether she could have helped Thor and others more if she had stayed.</p>
<p>Not like she had any more real chance against Thanos than Thor or Loki or Heimdall or Hulk, but she felt like she had not tried enough. She had not sacrificed herself like Heimdall had and that was the reality she had to live with. It did not help to emphasize on oneself how tremendously illogical her trail of thought was.</p>
<p>“Hey”, Carol said, abruptly.</p>
<p>Valkyrie felt Carol’s hand on her shoulder and realized a few odd tears were running down on her cheeks. She brushed the hand aside and stood up.</p>
<p>“I’m fine”, she grunted and grabbed her beer on her way out of the room.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>* * *</p>
</div>Carol filled the dishwasher and washed the pans she had used. She put a plastic wrap over Valkyrie’s plate before shoving it to the fridge.<p>On a whim she took the six pack of Budweiser out before heading to the living room.</p>
<p>Valkyrie was on the couch, idly strolling on some news sites on her laptop.</p>
<p>Carol sat next to her and lowered the six pack between them. While opening a can, she thieved a look at the news. Nothing urgent or huge, just the same stuff she had heard over the radio behind the Heimdall’s counter.</p>
<p>Her senses had been heightened after the contact with the Tesseract’s energy and merging with Mar-Vell, so it was not a mentionable trick that she had listened to the headlines in between the loud music and Valkyrie’s more and more incoherent rants as the evening had proceeded.</p>
<p>Valkyrie had no real interest in the news this time either. She had just wanted to bury her thoughts under something more recent and mundane.</p>
<p>“Can we just -” she said, a little tremble in her voice. “Get drunk.”</p>
<p>“I figured”, Carol said gently and freed a beer from the wrapper, handing it to her. “I bet you can fill me in on the Earth’s new jams.”</p>
<p>Valkyrie looked at her helplessly. Her eyes were still a bit red, but she showed no other indication of the previous distress. She bet Carol had a much better sense of Earth’s culture, even if she had been gone for a while.</p>
<p>“It’s really not one of my special skills”, Val blurted.</p>
<p>“You can’t say you know less than I. The last time I had time to get into it was in 1989.”</p>
<p>Valkyrie looked even more dumbfounded. “Wait, how old were you?”</p>
<p>Carol punched her shoulder. It seemed like she really had to focus on keeping it restrained. Which Valkyrie was thankful of, she <i>would have</i> minded if she had been blown out of her own house. And she really had more important things to do than renovate her house.</p>
<p>“Put the music thing on”, Carol nudged her.</p>
<p>“The music thing. Now I do see you haven’t been around in, like, millennia”, Valkyrie smirked.</p>
<p>“Hey, I can hit you a bit harder next time.”</p>
<p>“I bet you can”, Valkyrie tried to contain her amusement. “Okay, let’s see…”</p>
<p>She had been at Thor’s house often enough to know how to operate around the most prominent websites containing the humans’ entertainment. Even if she had no plan to subscribe to Netflix or to get herself a Snapchat account like Korg had, it was all somewhat familiar ground to him.</p>
<p>“I do know some jams, but I don’t know how big of a deal they are”, she hesitated, but decided to put on something that she had heard while at Thor’s place.</p>
<p>She vaguely knew that most of the god of thunder’s favorites were from video games, but she had no idea exactly what stories lay behind them. Valkyrie hoped she would not make herself laughable in front of Carol as she probably was just trying to mess with her. 1989? Weren’t humans supposed to age a bit faster?</p>
<p>If Valkyrie did her math right, Carol should have already been in her fifties. The humans in the New Asgard seemed much older when they had hit that age. Valkyrie huffed. Maybe she just had not learned too much of humans during the three years she had spent on Earth.</p>
<p>“Hey, this seems nice and all”, Carol said. “A bit dramatic, though?”</p>
<p>Valkyrie shrugged. It was from something called Halo which Thor seemed to be pretty invested in. She liked the pictures embedded in the video clip, as they vaguely reminded her of home. The aesthetics on Earth seemed much more grounded and fixed on practicality. Sure, there were the exceptions to the rule, like anything that Tony Stark had ever built, or some of the cultural heritage sites she had seen on the news, but those were exactly that, exceptions.</p>
<p>“I said I have limited knowledge.”</p>
<p>“Let me put something on,'' Carol said eagerly. For her ease, the website was quite intuitive to use after she had seen Valkyrie operate it.</p>
<p>She tapped the keyboard a bit too hard to Valkyrie’s liking, but Val managed to keep quiet about it.</p>
<p>“You know, these things, him losing a brother and all that, they do happen all over. Not just here. Not just on Earth, but all over the galaxy. All over <i>all</i> of the galaxies”, Carol said, quietly, after putting the song of her liking on. “I just can’t help it. I have been tracking something to fix all this for three years. Nothing. Like Thanos said, the stones have disappeared from being.”</p>
<p>For a while Val just sipped her beer, looking unfocusedly on the screen. Carol had put something called Led Zeppelin on, though Valkyrie had no idea whether that was the name of the artist or the art.</p>
<p>“I know, I know. It’s just…” Valkyrie started, but her words seemed to get jammed into her throat. “This is just much worse than anything before. I fucking hate it. The silence and people starting to live their lives like nothing has happened -”</p>
<p>Carol’s gaze sharpened, like a warning. “It’s not like you are the only one having it rough.”</p>
<p>Valkyrie swallowed. Her pulse was amplified, again. “Like I don’t know that?”</p>
<p>“I did visit the facility. It seems like it’s only Rogers and Romanov now, because they’re the ones who can’t move on. It’s not like they’re the only ones who have had losses, but they can’t get over it that they lived while others did not. It does not help anyone that some of you keep telling yourselves that you should’ve been able to do more. You fucking tried, okay? You can’t go back -”</p>
<p>“I KNOW”, Valkyrie roared. She could not contain herself anymore.</p>
<p>She stood up, crushing the beer can in her hand. Her whole frame was trembling.</p>
<p>“Why are you saying all this to me? It’s not like you aren’t doing the same. If the stones are nowhere to be found, why do you torment yourself by running from planet to planet so you can be sure that the Blip happened everywhere?”</p>
<p>Valkyrie could not keep her voice down, but she felt like she should not. If she had felt yesterday that they were not too different, now the similarities and differences seemed irreconcilable. If no one else was direct enough to hold the mirror for Carol, she did not mind. At all. Still holding the can, she did not notice how her fingers were starting to go numb. Her knuckles were pale as a corpse’s.</p>
<p>Carol huffed, angrily as ever. And without a warning, for Valkyrie’s surprise, she dropped her head between her hands.</p>
<p>“I can’t fucking do anything about it.”</p>
<p>Suddenly Valkyrie understood. Carol must have thought that because she could keep hunting down the solution, relentlessly, she should do it even if it was apparent that she could not find either the stones or the key to fix it all. And so, she thought it was Valkyrie’s and everybody else’s duty to keep fixing themselves, keep fixing the world even if it seemed like there was no love long lost to be found.</p>
<p>Somehow Carol had thought it was ultimately her fault not being able to stop Thanos. She should have been the most powerful being in all existence.</p>
<p>And due to her power, she felt that she was also the loneliest being in the universe, even if she kept telling herself that others had it rough too.</p>
<p>“It’s not like you haven’t tried”, Valkyrie said, dangling her hands helplessly next to her hips.</p>
<p>“It makes no difference”, Carol said and for her surprise Valkyrie noticed that she was crying.</p>
<p>“Hey, it’s not like you haven’t tried”, Valkyrie repeated, this time more softly. </p>
<p>Dropping the beer can, not giving a thought to the mess, she approached her and put her hands on her shoulders. Carol trembled, making Valkyrie wary of her strength, but she did not back down, wrapping her hands around the blonde.</p>
<p>“It’s no use.”</p>
<p>“Stop it”, Val said silently, not meaning that she should not cry.</p>
<p>She could not help  wondering when was the last time Carol had had the chance to be vulnerable, even for a short moment. And even though she felt that the conversation was all but over, she swallowed her own hurt feelings for the time being.</p>
<p>It felt like an eternity before Carol sniffed, calming down a bit.</p>
<p>Valkyrie had felt her sobs against her t-shirt but did not worry about her staining it. She had a clean spare in the very next room even if she was not that good at washing her clothes regularly.</p>
<p>Carol’s breath had felt irregular but warm against Valkyrie’s collar bone.</p>
<p>“I really like this song”, Carol said, her sniffing mixing with a self-conscious little laugh.</p>
<p>“Yeah, it's all right”, Valkyrie said.</p>
<p>She took the comment as a hint to dislodge herself from the embrace, but to her surprise Carol clung to her firmly.</p>
<p>“Just for a second”, she muttered against Valkyrie’s shoulder. “Please.”</p>
<p>Valkyrie listened to the song end but did not try to move until Carol raised her head a little. She did not look directly at Valkyrie and her face was blushing a bit as if she was</p>
<p>“Sorry, it’s just that I have been feeling really disconnected from people”, she tried to explain herself.</p>
<p>“It’s fine”, Valkyrie said. She did not try to make eye contact either.</p>
<p>She loosened a new beer from the wrapper and moved back to her former seat, eyes fixed on her laptop’s screen. She really could not come up with any song to put on, or anything to say. Carol had seemed so vulnerable that Valkyrie feared she would say something to alienate Carol from the closeness she herself had felt just a moment ago. Valkyrie was not sure was it directed towards her or was she just conveniently present.</p>
<p>Carol thanked her quietly.</p>
<p>“Really, it’s alright”, Valkyrie said, more firmly.</p>
<p>The Asgardian reactively looked at the woman next to her.</p>
<p>For a while Carol seemed all but the most powerful being imaginable. Her shoulders were drawn in and her face was still reddish from the crying. She made an inept effort trying to dry her face on her arm.</p>
<p>Valkyrie swallowed, way too loudly for her own liking.</p>
<p>“You know you’re stunning?” she could not stop herself from saying.</p>
<p>Carol froze, the back of her other hand on her cheek. It seemed that all kinds of thoughts were running through her head.</p>
<p>Valkyrie shifted her gaze to the floor and fixed it onto the beer can she had crushed previously, then not sparing a thought for how much beer she soiled her only carpet with. Now she felt like she had soiled all the things in the room.</p>
<p>“I mean -” she tried to coil her words back, but her effort was made in vain.</p>
<p>“That’s what you say to all the girls who you end up comforting”, Carol joked.</p>
<p>Valkyrie blushed. “It’s not like it’s in my job description, but -”</p>
<p>Carol’s laugh seemed to come straight from her heart. It fixed all the uneasiness Valkyrie had been feeling and made her smile.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yeah, supposedly ketchup on eggs <i>is</i> a Californian thing. Guess who hanged around Rosamond at the 1980s? Yup, it was one Ms. Danvers.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. It’s My Hand That You’re Holding</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She woke up sweaty. For a while she could not understand where she was. When her eyes got used to the scarce sunlight creeping in from between the suspenders, she saw the firm cabinets and the dark end table, all left in the house by the previous owner.</p>
<p>Carol shut her eyes again and tried to focus to evening her breathing.</p>
<p>It had been 23 years before Nick Fury had reached her. She had a lot on her mind back then, with getting used to her formerly repressed powers, with getting to know herself again. And all that while travelling relentlessly between spheres, just trying to help people the best she could. Trying to help the Skrulls. Trying to help anyone she could.</p>
<p>It was beyond her how she had not seen the threat of the Mad Titan coming before it was too late.</p>
<p>She had given up what was left of her old life on Earth and even if that had pained her at the time, she had realized the full meaning of her choice much later.</p>
<p>And whenever she had found community, unity, and friendship on her journey, it was always too soon that she was needed somewhere else. As nothing compared to her powers and the universe or at least parts of it were always threatened.</p>
<p>Now she felt like she had nothing, but remorse and given up dreams. She stood up, hastily pulling her pants on. Carol rushed downstairs without caring to make her bed. It was not like Valkyrie came upstairs anyways to complain about it.</p>
<p>For the last week they had seen each other just briefly. Usually, Valkyrie drained herself up to the point that after she hit the estate she would go straight to her bedroom. Carol was not sure if the Asgardian really was so tired or just avoiding her.</p>
<p>Even if there was not anything urgent going on, Valkyrie had made herself an irreplaceable part of the new colony. It might have begun as a way to escape from her idle thoughts, as Carol suspected, but it also seemed to be a real asset to her well-being to feel needed. Valkyrie had felt it necessary to explain to Carol that she worked the docks when one day she got home wearing a stinking raincoat and muddied up rubber boots. She helped around the town, with all the little things the new entrepreneurs happened to need help with, was it with setting shelves to a small warehouse for their online stores or with mundane paperwork.</p>
<p>Even if Carol was first secretly pleased that Valkyrie did not bother her much with questions or drag her to participate with her tasks, she noticed herself feeling more and more neglected with every passing day.</p>
<p>Carol huffed, quite displeased with her train of thought, while pulling her shirt blouse on top of her t-shirt. She almost ran the last steps down on her way to the kitchen. It was not like Valkyrie owned her anything, but Carol had had enough time just to sleep and try to ease her feelings that had burst out on the second day she had spent in New Asgard.</p>
<p>She was genuinely surprised to meet Valkyrie in the kitchen. The darker haired woman was just idly browsing the news on a tablet.</p>
<p>“There’s some coffee left, if you’d like”, she motioned towards the coffee maker.</p>
<p>Carol slowed down and took a cup she had used the previous day. Without even caring to rinse it, she filled it and sipped the liquid.</p>
<p>Valkyrie raised her brow slightly as Carol did not let on whether she even burned her tongue. Valkyrie knew that Carol had not used oven mitts once while cooking; Valkyrie did not own one as she ate at the town most of the time.</p>
<p>“I thought I could snatch you for a walk”, Valkyrie said, turning the screen off.</p>
<p>“What for?” Carol said while starting to rummage through the fridge for something to eat. She ended up taking an apple from the bowl on the counter. “Don’t you have work?”</p>
<p>“It’s Sunday. I think my boss has allowed me to take some time off”, Valkyrie smirked. “You know”, she raised her palm next to her ear, mimicking speaking to a telephone. “I just heard her say it.”</p>
<p>Carol thought briefly of throwing the apple at her as the Asgardian seemed incredibly pleased with herself.</p>
<p>“What should I wear?”</p>
<p>“Anything casual’s fine. I’m not taking you to the city ball or anything”, Valkyrie joked and left with her coffee mug and the tablet.</p>
<p>They met up at the door just 10 minutes later. Carol had put her sneakers on and hoped that they would not go anywhere too muddy as it had rained a bit at night. Not that she could not just float some inches above ground, but she actually liked walking. She just had not had the chance to stroll around for leisure for quite some time.</p>
<p>Valkyrie had her raincoat on, she apparently had tidied it up at some point, and she was wearing some rubber boots as well. Seeing Carol’s worried expression, she laughed.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, we’re not going fishing”, she said.</p>
<p>It did not fully erase the worried look, but Carol complied to following her out of the house.</p>
<p>She had done the shopping for the past week as Valkyrie did not seem to care whether she had food around the house, but otherwise she had just been lodged indoors. Now, without a clear task in mind, she noticed how peaceful the scenery around Valkyrie’s home really was.</p>
<p>The nearest house was a half a mile up the road and from the signs at the crossroad it was apparent that most of the nearest neighbors lived on farming, mainly livestock.</p>
<p>Valkyrie hummed while guiding them down one of the smaller roads. The sign read the Vanir Estate. It did not ring any bell for Carol, but Valkyrie seemed to be in a talkative mood.</p>
<p>“The Vanir’s a family related close to Heimdall. Not his closest cousins, but something like that. He was someone we lost when we first came across with Thanos”, she said. “The people have used their own etymology here quite a lot. I think it’s their way to feel close to the old home. It’s not like everyone uses their birth names anymore or even their family’s name. What do you call it?” she paused for a while to bring the word back from the memory. “Surnames. Before all this we mostly used our father’s or mother’s names when the distinction was needed. But some want to comply with the Norwegian customs and others, I guess, just wanted to pay tribute.”</p>
<p>Carol kept quiet. She followed Valkyrie towards an old house with an extension made of rock. The yard looked genuinely like a farmhouse in the old children’s books she vaguely remembered from her childhood, as some chickens rustled in a big, ceiled cage and a yellowish hound rested at the end of a long chain.</p>
<p>“Have you thought of getting a dog?” she blurted.</p>
<p>Valkyrie looked at her funnily but did answer anyway.</p>
<p>“I’m not much of a dog person anymore.”</p>
<p>She led Carol to the building behind the house. It looked like a barn, which it ended up being. Valkyrie opened the smaller door embedded into a much bigger one at the end of the barn.</p>
<p>Carol did not have a mere second to get used to the dim indoors as Valkyrie switched the ceiling light on like it was embroidered to her muscular memory. The mixture of all kinds of smells hit Carol all at once and she had to reach all the way back to her youth to realize what it reminded her of.</p>
<p>As she had started to suspect, Valkyrie led her down the narrow aisle to the sturdy wooden gate. Carol looked eyes wide at the huge head pushing against Valkyrie’s temples.</p>
<p>“Is… that yours?” Carol whispered.</p>
<p>Valkyrie opened the gate, letting herself in and then shut it behind her. She patted the forehead of the huge white winged steed. Suddenly she seemed really tiny next to the horse.</p>
<p>“He is Aragorn.”</p>
<p>Carol snorted. “Like, from the Lord of the Rings?”</p>
<p>Valkyrie raised her brow. Yet another reference she did not get, but she decided not to let it show too plainly.</p>
<p>“I’ve had him for some years now. The Vanir’s take care of it for me most of the time. I come here whenever I have time”, she petted his ears. “Could you pass the hoof pick?”</p>
<p>Carol tried to understand what she had motioned towards, but she had no clue. “The what?”</p>
<p>Valkyrie sighed. “The metal thing hanging on the wall next to you.”</p>
<p>After handing Valkyrie the tool, Carol leaned on the gate and watched how Valkyrie patiently cleaned the steeds all four hooves. Carol gave Valkyrie the brush when asked and looked in silent awe as Valkyrie worked.</p>
<p>It seemed so unlikely of Valkyrie to work all focused on something. Carol had not actually doubted the Asgardian’s abilities to take care of others, as she had ended up comforting her the other night. Maybe the uncanny impression was due to the silent grace radiating from Valkyrie as she worked around the horse, petting him occasionally without a sign of her more usual smirking. Valkyrie clearly cared for Aragorn and made no fuss to try to get off the task by rushing through it. She also made no commentary to Carol, as she seemed to have forgotten she was present at all.</p>
<p>Suddenly Valkyrie dangled the brush towards Carol.</p>
<p>“Do you want to brush her?”</p>
<p>It was such an off-worldly question to Carol that it left her swallowing her uneasiness for a while. Valkyrie did not say anything to back out of the moment, she just stood there as patiently as she had been when she had taken care of the horse.</p>
<p>Finally, Carol nodded and opened the gate carefully. The horse neighed a little, making her feel all jumpy. It was not that she feared to be hurt; she feared that she would scare the horse.</p>
<p>“Let him get to know you”, Valkyrie said. Carol guessed her over-the-top calm voice was intended more to her than to the steed.</p>
<p>She stood still and waited as Aragorn’s muzzle moved next to her cheek. The huge brown eyes looked straight at her, while the horse sniffed the side of her head. Its muzzle felt kind of ticklish against her skin and she smirked, somewhat uneasy.</p>
<p>“Not so bad, now is it”, Valkyrie said almost jokingly. She still had a tone like she was educating Carol.</p>
<p>Carol clicked her tongue when the brush was offered to her again but started gently brushing the steed’s side, just under its wing. It was almost illuminating to be close to something so big and calm.</p>
<p>Valkyrie did the rest of her intended tasks without engaging in much of banter. Carol ended up waiting at the front of the barn for her to change Aragorn’s hay</p>
<p>“I’m guessing you missed the whole welcoming party”, Valkyrie smirked as they left the farm.</p>
<p>Carol looked at her without a clue of what she was on about.</p>
<p>“Usually, I have little too many helpful hands”, Valkyrie explained. “You’d thought that living next to a stable would get you tired of horses, but those kids never seem to want to miss a chance of getting in the way.”</p>
<p>She did not continue her babbling, but Carol did not mind as she was all back in her own thoughts. She felt like Valkyrie had shown her a side of herself which was not usually shown to strangers.</p>
<p>“I really need a shower”, Carol blurted when they got back to the house. She just now  realized how much she smelled of the stable. “You care to put some coffee brewing?” she quickly added.</p>
<p>Valkyrie nodded, but to Carol she seemed to be back in her private mode.</p>
<p>“Actually, I should go give him a ride. Haven’t done that in a while”, Valkyrie said abruptly before heading back out.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>* * *</p>
</div>Carol was left in the corridor, alone and feeling more hurt than she thought was necessary. She felt how the red color rose to her cheeks as the feeling of anger started to find its way on the top of her other emotions. Thinking how childishly she was acting; she marched straight to the bathroom and banged the door shut.<p>For a moment she just stood in the middle of the room, listening to her own huffing.</p>
<p>Why am I like this, she thought. Val does not own me anything, she reminded herself of her own thoughts from the very same day.</p>
<p>She briefly undressed herself and got under the showerhead. She had already washed her hair and was in the middle of rinsing them, when she understood that she had referred to Valkyrie as Val.</p>
<p>Carol had let herself show her own wounds to Valkyrie a week earlier, while weeping on the couch, when saying all those horrible things aloud. But even if Valkyrie had taken her to the stables, Carol felt like she somehow held back.</p>
<p>She opened a bottle of body wash so frustrated with her own emotions that she broke its neck. Carol chose to ignore the damage for the time being. Her mental state was worked up well beyond the stage where she would have not cared if she had broken the bathroom wall.</p>
<p>She huffed again, closing her eyes for a moment to gather her thoughts.</p>
<p>The problem to her was not that she felt like she was getting more attached than she thought the other had become fond of her. The issue was more like Valkyrie did not seem to be willing to let her in even the half Carol was willing to share herself. There was something more holding Valkyrie back than Carol had not understood. Not before Valkyrie had run away. And even now she did not know <i>why</i> exactly Val had acted the way she had.</p>
<p>Carol frowned at herself. Was that all? Am I just hungry for more acceptance after feeling like shit for three years straight? Scoffing to herself, she focused back into washing herself.</p>
<p>There was no one whose abilities compared to hers, that was why she had chosen to do what she had done. It was no privilege; it was no gift. She was not special, she had just been in the right place at the right time to get herself dragged into all of this superhero shit and that, she felt, she had forgotten too often. Valkyrie was born to her role in more ways than Carol could probably comprehend.</p>
<p>Still beating herself up, trying to remind herself that she was trying to break 5000 years’ worth of solid walls which Valkyrie had built up to protect herself, Carol pushed the shower curtain open and was face to face with the other woman.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, you just – “, Valkyrie muttered, showing something to Carol who was much more interested in pulling the curtain to cover herself than to scrutinize what she was offered. “I saw you had forgotten this in the living room.”</p>
<p>Carol noticed Valkyrie was dangling her towel and snatched it.</p>
<p>“Thanks”, she said, coldly.</p>
<p>Valkyrie shivered, but not for the reason Carol thought. She was oddly aroused, but also flustered.</p>
<p>“You could knock, you know”, Carol said, wrapping the towel on herself with surprising ease given that she still was trying to hide her privates with the curtain.</p>
<p>Valkyrie swallowed. “Umm, sure. I just… thought that I should at least make that coffee.”</p>
<p>Carol nodded, somehow understanding that that was as much of an apology she was going to get now.</p>
<p>“Thanks”, she managed to say before heading upstairs.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>* * *</p>
</div>She petted his muzzle gently before mounting him. The horse complied and she tried to reach for their nexus, but it felt empty, there was no response.<p>She did not lift off the ground a moment too soon, as some debris hit the very spot where she had mounted him. It really was a war field.</p>
<p>The absence of the nexus felt wrong, it made the riding harder than needed and it started to frighten Valkyrie. Something was terribly wrong.</p>
<p>She tried to get her head back into the game, encouraging her steed to up his speed. Then she nudged her down. With a swing of her spear, she decapitated the fallen soldier Hela had summoned.</p>
<p>She barely evaded a sword’s blow aimed at her side before swinging her spear back at the enemy.</p>
<p>Slowly she started to notice how the corps around her seemed to be thinning. They were losing.</p>
<p>Her steed was not the same he should have been.</p>
<p>Why was there so much blood?</p>
<p>Nothing of it made any sense to her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Valkyrie woke up huffing and understood instantly why none of it made any sense. She had not been riding  regular horses before settling in Norway.</p>
<p>The nexus with a winged horse and its rider was not quite supernatural, but it was a more empathic bond than she had felt when riding some of the horses they had on Earth. The horse in the dream was flying, but it was not hers. It was not even winged, but within the realm of sleep it had flown.</p>
<p>Even though she realized it was all just a dream, her chest felt like all the air had burned up. She felt like she had just been released from her armor, from under the weight of her fallen comrades; from the pain caused by a sudden blow from her friend’s body being thrown against hers.</p>
<p>She tried to calm her breathing and her eyes started slowly getting used to the room. She was not sure why she was lying on the couch, but apparently, she had fallen asleep in the middle of her coffee. She did not remember putting the mug on the floor. Valkyrie stared sleepily at her laptop which had also been laid on the floor. She looked at the paused video on the screen where two men with ridiculously curly hair starred in some musical number from the 1980's. Carol had probably looked something up for her own enjoyment.</p>
<p>So that is what people around Carol had looked like before she gained her powers, Valkyrie snorted. She would have mingled with the light-speed engine, too, if that was the prime of humanity at the time.</p>
<p>She noticed that Carol had fallen asleep next to her, on the very next end of the couch. Valkyrie looked at her hands. Carol had wrapped them around herself like she was protecting herself or hiding from something.</p>
<p>Then Valkyrie noticed the dark eyes looking at her.</p>
<p>“I guess you get them too”, Carol said, quietly, like she was tip toeing around something she knew to be fragile.</p>
<p>Valkyrie raised her brow,  not knowing what she was going on about. She tried not to focus on the fact that Carol’s legs were on her lap, casually as if this was a usual setting for them to be in. At least Carol did not seem baffled at all by that.</p>
<p>“The nightmares.”</p>
<p>Valkyrie nodded. She swallowed silently, alarmed by the possibility of their earlier conversations rising on the surface again. She was not awake enough to start fighting about her own previous behavior. Or awake enough to stop herself from saying the stupidest and the most uncalled for things if it were to come to that.</p>
<p>“It was some old shit, nothing to talk about really.”</p>
<p>To her surprise, Carol did not continue to pry. She straightened her other arm to reach Valkyrie’s hand. Just now Valkyrie realized she was probably clasping Carol’s thigh bit too hard, as she had not let go of it. She was not even sure if she had woken like that or if she had moved her hand due to the possibly unsettling line of questioning.</p>
<p>Carol slowly brushed Valkyrie’s fingers with her own, not mentioning the squeezing of Val’s hand on her thigh. Valkyrie was not sure how bad it even felt due to Carol’s superhuman physique, but she tried to ease up a little as discreetly as possible.</p>
<p>She noticed Carol grasping her fingers as they parted from her thigh. Carol rested their hands on herself.</p>
<p>“Thanks.”</p>
<p>Valkyrie’s brows shot up. “What for?”</p>
<p>“For treating me as a normal person”, the blonde smiled, almost remorsefully. “It is a nice feeling to have once in a while.”</p>
<p>Valkyrie looked at her, squeezing shortly her hand in her own, like it was nothing to mention of.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry”, Valkyrie said. “I should tell you, it’s not that I don’t feel like you don’t deserve a friend, but I’m not sure it should be me.”</p>
<p>Carol looked a bit baffled. “What are you talking about?” she said, quite sure that Val’s guilt-tripping from the week before was surfacing. “Don’t say again that shit about worth and stuff, I thought we got that sorted out before”, she snorted.</p>
<p>Valkyrie let go of her hand.</p>
<p>“It’s not just that. I was just eyeing you up in the bar and now I feel like -”</p>
<p>“You seriously thought I didn’t notice?” Carol smirked. “You’re not all that mysterious as you think.”</p>
<p>Valkyrie huffed, feeling somewhat attacked to her own surprise. She thought about getting up but decided against it. She could do this, serious talk. Wasn’t it something she supposedly practiced the last three years? She had been almost constantly serious since what had happened on the Statesman.</p>
<p>“It might be stupid, but I guess I’m not sure how sincere I am”, she blurted and felt her face turning a bit reddish. She was deadly thankful that neither of them had got up to switch on the lights yet.</p>
<p>“So, what I’m getting…” Carol tried to encourage her. “Come on, it’s not like we're in high school.”</p>
<p>Fortunately, Valkyrie was familiar with the expression. Even she had seen <i>some</i> movies.</p>
<p>“I’m not saying you can’t make your own conclusions, it’s just… I don’t think it’s fair of me to give you my shoulder or let you stay and then keep thinking something else might come out of it.”</p>
<p>Carol did not reply. She reached Val’s hand back onto her own. For a while she just lied on the couch, drawing lazy circles with her fingers on the back of the other’s hand. Val felt like her palms started to get sweaty, but she did not dare to rush Carol.</p>
<p>“I’m glad you told me”, Carol finally said, drawing Val’s gaze on her. “Otherwise, I guess I wasn’t up to doing this.”</p>
<p>Without any grand warning she pulled Val’s hand abruptly so that Valkyrie landed very uncomfortably half on top of her. Valkyrie hardly dared to breath. She felt her heart racing like she had heard a battle cry.</p>
<p>It was not like she had not fooled around. But Carol was something else.</p>
<p>Carol kept her eyes locked at her for a second before pulling her even closer. She moved her hip a little to get Val properly on her without her legs being awkwardly between them.</p>
<p>The kiss blew Val away.</p>
<p>It messaged anything but hurt feelings or unreciprocated attraction.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was Carol who ended it. She pushed Valkyrie’s shoulders further from herself. Even though Val was a bit heavier than a human of her size would have been, the weight did not seem to bother Carol. It had not bothered her when she had taken Val home from The Heimdall’s, either.</p>
<p>Valkyrie looked baffled at her, waiting to hear that she had done something wrong.</p>
<p>“If we are doing this, I want to know”, Carol said huffing, not turning her eyes away.</p>
<p>She felt like she had to say it, or her heart would burst. She had not meant it to go this far. Not this far from casual.</p>
<p>Valkyrie swallowed and almost ripped Carol of her former confidence.</p>
<p>“I am a fucking piece of work”, was all that Valkyrie managed to say. Her heart raced at least as quickly as Carol’s. She felt like both of them knew not to tip the emotional scales too much out of the balance, but she too needed confirmation. Something to hold on. She just was not sure how far she was willing to go.</p>
<p>“I’m beginning to see”, Carol muttered, but her tone was a bit eased up. There was no cut-off, not yet.</p>
<p>“It’s not like you seem to be in the best place you’ve been”, Valkyrie added.</p>
<p>“I think I can manage”, Carol said, pulling Valkyrie’s hips towards herself.</p>
<p>Val managed only to swallow nervously. Why was her heart beating so much, she wondered. It really was not like Carol was the first woman she had been with. If they were to be with each other. Somehow it helped Valkyrie to see that Carol seemed as flustered as she was.</p>
<p>“We are not doing all that getting to know each other shit right now, are we?” Val moaned, when Carol shifted a bit under her.</p>
<p>“In a way we should.”</p>
<p>Carol had waited enough, the pressure of another body trembling slightly on top of her. She pulled Valkyrie back into the kiss. They definitely should get to know each other a little better instantly, the area between her parted thighs ached.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yeah, Valkyrie disses Modern Talking. That is her god given right.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. My Rattling Heart, For Your Lightning Eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And here it is, the final chapter. Can I just say: yikes.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Carol woke up to the sensation of Valkyrie’s breath brushing her temples.</p><p>She opened her eyes slowly and stared at the woman next to her. God, did Val look beautiful. Her dark hair was loosely framing her wide face, and Carol could not resist the urge to fix some of her hair behind her ear.</p><p>Carol reactively held her breath as Valkyrie frowned in her sleep, but apart from a few lines forming on her forehead, she gave no other signs that she might wake up. Carol gently pulled her hand back between them, where it had been lodged against her breast before.</p><p>She looked at Valkyrie as if she was just seeing her clearly for the very first time. The Asgardian looked much more fragile and approachable in her sleep. The lonely frail of sunlight barely touched Val’s dark eye lashes, as if even the nearest star would have been careful not to disturb her rest.</p><p>Carol felt an odd rush in the bottom of her stomach when she thought about the night before. The feeling was uncanny to her, like something she had previously tumbled onto over two decades ago. And even then, it felt like reminiscing something that she had lost unknowingly, now it was something new.</p><p>Valkyrie’s hands: hardened with all the work she had dug into the last three years; hands which could guide a flying stallion into the battle. They had guided Carol giving up on her battle for a while, they had guided her to roll her eyes back.</p><p>Carol’s breath tensed when she remembered how Val’s tongue had glided on her; in her. Like there was no other sensation in the whole world for her to feel.</p><p>Carol blushed when she realized that she had let Valkyrie do all the hard work, whether her hands were used to handling all sorts of things or not. Suddenly she was even more content with the fact that the other woman seemed to be still deep in the realm of dreams.</p><p>Carol let the sun travel higher on Valkyrie’s face before finally sliding out from under the covers. She barely dressed before heading out of the bedroom. Even though she was feeling a bit restless, she did her best not to wake Val. At least the Asgardian seemed not to be having nightmares this time.</p><p>She brushed her teeth before going to the kitchen and loading the coffeemaker.</p><p>For a reason unbeknownst to her, she remembered the duffel bag under her bed. Carol huffed unamusedly before snapping the switch on the coffeemaker.</p><p>She drank two cups sitting next to the kitchen counter, accompanied only by occasional rain drops lazily hitting the kitchen window. Trying not to think about and magnificently failing at it, she thought about Valkyrie’s quite butch behavior at the bar.</p><p>When she tried even harder, she could draw up an image of the battle of Wakanda, but she had not been there, so she brushed the idea off. But in conclusion, it felt so unimaginable that Valkyrie would ever be so nervous to hit on anyone like she had been the past week, that it made Carol shiver.</p><p>Val seemed like a person who had had to unwillingly change a lot in a short time.</p><p>She was not just one of her corps, not anymore, but she had not still opened up to Carol and even though Carol knew better than to go wake her up for the talk, she was in anguish.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>* * *</p>
</div>Val woke up alone to the sound of rain hitting the bedroom window hard.<p>For a second, she did not know what was missing, but the realization dawned at her when she patted the empty spot on the mattress next to her.</p><p>A  storm was brewing, she thought. The room was dim like it would have not been even noon. She could sense the heaviness hanging in the air. It was going to pour like Thor was loose. Valkyrie sighed, hoping that it was due to natural reasons.</p><p>When she could not find Carol in the kitchen, she frowned.</p><p>Finally, she found her in the room where she had slept previously. At first Val could not see what she was staring at, but she did not want to barge in too suddenly even when the door was open. Carol was dressed only in her panties and a t-shirt and somehow it made her look even more pondering and sad than she was.</p><p>“Is that your suit?” Val asked, startling Carol.</p><p>The blonde had not heard her coming as the rain had started. It pounded violently on the roof, but it made her feel like the house was secluded from the outside world and somehow it felt like a safe warm cuddle.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Her voice was neutral enough to encourage Valkyrie to approach her. Surprising both, Val walked right up to her, hugging her from behind.</p><p>“I didn’t want to wake you”, Carol said.</p><p>Val hummed idly against her neck and looked at the suit. It looked familiar, as she must have seen it in the news during the past years, but she had never seen it up close. She would have thought it to be somehow more brightly colored. Now it looked oddly comical and frail on the bedcover, as the room was not lit.</p><p>Carol rested her arms on Valkyrie’s hands wrapped around her.</p><p>“It feels like another skin for me, really.”</p><p>Valkyrie knew instantly what she meant, but she could not replicate her own feelings about her own armor. She had not worn it after Wakanda, not once. And before that… She had worn it twice when fighting Hela.</p><p>Carol huffed and pinched Valkyrie’s arm. She did not put the suit back to the bag yet, but turned around so she could face Val. For a while she just rested her head on Valkyrie’s shoulder, dangling her arms straight before finally wrapping them around the other woman.</p><p>“I was in space for six years even before I was Captain Marvel”, she muttered. “I got it then.”</p><p>Valkyrie frowned. She was wary of where the confession was going. It was easy to gather that Carol had been cut off from normal relationships with other humans most of her life.</p><p>Carol did not continue; she just tightened her grip. Val sighed and let her hands loose, shifting Carol gently to get a look at her face. Her eyes rested on Carol’s eyelashes and she raised her hands up to the blonde’s jawline, brushing her fingers softly along it. For a while she had to gather her thoughts as she had not been up as long as Carol and she still had not drunk her usual amount of caffeine.</p><p>“I’m not used to it. People calling me anything other than Valkyrie.”</p><p>Carol frowned, but it was from worry and it made Val’s heart melt a little. She kissed her lightly on her lips.</p><p>“I <i>am</i> the last of us”, she continued, more quietly than before. “And it <i>is</i> my name, but it still hurts. I have had many names since that.”</p><p>She knew she had to rip the scar as once, but she shivered a little. Carol did not let her go, she had realized Val talked about her other name. About her real name. Valkyrie did not know where the woman drew her patience, but it was uncanny to her.</p><p>“Brunnhilde”, she finally said.</p><p>The word rolled heavily from her lips, but Carol was not unsettled. She hummed and Val could have sworn that was the only reaction that she thought genuinely appropriate. That was that, settled with a hum.</p><p>Carol kissed her back, lightly, as a thank you, and Valkyrie shivered once more.</p><p>Little did she know she had taken a step which she could not step back.</p><p>The coffeemaker had snapped off when they got downstairs, but Carol started to brew more as Valkyrie tried her best to make some toasted bread.</p><p>She burned quite many before getting the hang of it, but Carol seemed unwilling to take control without being asked to - and Val was too stubborn to ask.</p><p>They took the breakfast to the living room and hid under the covers, which Carol snatched from Val’s bed. For the first time Val did not open her tablet. They just ate and sipped their coffees and stared at each other or the rain and neither dared to mention how silly that must have looked to any odd follower.</p><p>But they were alone and secluded from the world by the rain.</p><p>Carol looked at Valkyrie’s profile while she was looking at the grey scenery opening up from the window and finally recognized the nervous feeling she had in the kitchen previously, before Val joined her upstairs.</p><p>She was totally smitten by her.</p><p>“What are you thinking?” Val said, teasing the inside of her thigh under the cover with her toes.</p><p>Carol smirked. “You know you might’ve just changed that.”</p><p>“Are you saying you’re influenced by me?”</p><p>She pushed her leg further, now touching the edge of Carol’s panties with her toes.</p><p>“Not in the least”, Carol kept her cool. “I think you should draw out some bigger guns.”</p><p>Val brushed her toes lightly over her underwear, feeling up if the cloth was already getting wet.</p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry I don’t impress you much”, Val said, putting her coffee mug down on the rug. “Maybe you should show me how it should be done?”</p><p>Carol blushed. She did not want to give away how scarce she feared her experience was on the field, as she had a hunch she had not been with as many - or as often - as Val had. She raised herself up a bit and then crawled to Val’s end of the couch.</p><p>“Though I thought you had no negative feedback from last night”, Val kept blabbering joyfully. “I remember <i>someone</i> was having quite the ride of a lifetime -”</p><p>Carol nudged her lightly on the arm before kissing her. “I thought someone wanted to be fucked.”</p><p>Val nodded and made a gesture implying she had shut her mouth and thrown the key away. If Carol was getting all confident on her, Val would be more than pleased to keep her hole shut.</p><p>“And as <i>I</i> remember, someone had to gather her courage to speak to a girl for a whole week”, Carol teased.</p><p>Val was about to protest, but she felt how Carol cupped her privates under the covers. She led out a surprised but thirsty moan. Yes, she could quite do with the more direct Carol.</p><p>Val tried to raise her head to kiss Carol, but she felt how the other’s lips suddenly travelled on her neck towards her collarbone, each suck getting more demanding. Carol’s left hand slipped under Val’s shirt to caress her breast.</p><p>The dark-haired woman tried to push her pelvis up when she felt Carol slightly slipping her index finger under the edge of her boxer briefs.</p><p>“Uh-huh, someone’s getting all worked up”, Carol teased, her breath tickling Valkyrie’s neck.</p><p>“Fuck me”, Val pleaded, voice trembling just enough to send butterflies fluttering into Carol’s stomach.</p><p>She slipped her finger out of the boxers and rushed to undressing them. Val raised her bottom, legs twitching with anticipation. As the underpants finally dropped on the floor, she lowered herself – to Carol’s arms, for her own surprise. She wondered briefly how the blonde could have moved herself so quickly, but the thought was cut out when Carol raised Valkyrie’s hips closer to her face.</p><p>“What did you say?”</p><p>Val knit her brows. “Fuck me, please”, she almost whispered.</p><p>Carol’s eyes lit up with amusement. She did not remember Val being so desperate the night before, but then the situation was quite different. Carol tried not to think of how she must have clawed Valkyrie’s back, as the mere thought made her feel like she was oozing.</p><p>She lowered her mouth on Val, huffing and starting to draw circles on the Asgardian with her tongue. The musky smell was intoxicating.</p><p>“Yes, Carol – oh fuck”, Val muttered, reactively tugging Carol’s hair.</p><p>Carol left out a self-conscious sigh but kept at it. She was quickly starting to notice where Val seemed to enjoy her tongue the most, when suddenly Val’s breath quickened. The Asgardian grasped Carol’s hair with more force, but it did encourage Carol more than it hurt her. She huffed between eating Val out. Even though the thighs pushed against the sides of her head, she still could hear moans escaping Val’s lips.</p><p>Val’s back arched ever so lightly. Carol shifted her gaze up, not stopping the routine she had started to perfect.</p><p>“Carol, please, wait – “, Val managed to verbalize between her moans.</p><p>Carol raised her brows and stopped moving her tongue. She licked her lips but did not move unnoticeably further between Valkyrie’s thighs. As Val seemed not capable of continuing her trail of thought, Carol slipped her tongue between her inner lips, pushing the tip of it in her.</p><p>Val let out a pleased moan, much louder than before, tightening her grip once more. Her previously vacant hand travelled on the other, pulling Carol’s face even closer.</p><p>Carol had no fun remarks left; she was getting way too excited herself. She could not keep watching Val due her position and her eyes closed involuntarily, like all the other senses were too heightened to let her focus on the visuals of the situation.</p><p>As Val finally came, back arching higher than before, Carol was all out of breath. She raised herself on Val after the pace of the other’s breath was slowly starting to come down a notch.</p><p>Val patted the head, which had found its resting place on her collarbone.</p><p>“Thanks”, she muttered softly in Carol’s hair as she could not think of anything more suave to say.</p><p>“You want a third test run?” Carol said.</p><p>Valkyrie’s eyes widened before she understood Carol was joking. At least for the time being. She lazily kissed her forehead.</p><p>“Just give me a minute, Supergirl.”</p><p>Carol wrapped her hands around the woman. She still had a million things to say, but all of that could wait for now.</p><p>For the first time in a long time she dared to hope that they had an endless number of days to spend for that.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>